If Search Engines Were High School Teachers
February 15th, 2006 by Michael Gray in Google, MSN, Random Thoughts, SEO, YahooIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Read my top posts or learn more about Michael Gray. Want more frequent updates follow me on Twitter. Thanks for visiting!
Search Engines and ranking algorithm’s are evolving, in fact many of them are coming close to simulating artificial intelligence and exhibiting distinct personality traits. What better way to explain these personalities than to use an example everyone can relate to their high school teachers.
Sister Google
We all know Sister Google is the strictest English teacher you’re likely to encounter, and she’s a real stickler on spelling. She has her teacher’s pets like little Jeffery Amazon, Megan Ebay, and Craig List who can get away anything and get high scores on practically every test. However for the rest of you it’s a different game. All of the references in your material had better come from trusted authoritative sources that are on her secret approved list of resources, or else forget it she’ll never recommend any of your work to anyone, and it will go on your permanent record.
Vice Principal Yahoo
Technically Vice Principal Yahoo teaches history, in fact he’s been a teacher longer than anyone else in the school. Trouble is he’s really not interested in being a teacher, he has a lot of other jobs to do, and gives them top priority. As long as you do what you’re supposed to do there are no problems. However what inevitably happens is one of the loud mouth kids starts making trouble and Vice Principal Yahoo comes in and sets things straight. He’ll punish the whole class just because a few students are out of place. In fact on a few occasions he’s be known to completely reorganize lessons and test scores so they are exactly the way he wants them, regardless of who deserves the highest grade.
Ms. MSN
Ms. MSN is your groovy drama teacher who is into creativity, arts, and entertainment. Secretly all the students know she wants Sister Google’s job, but since Sister Google isn’t retiring she had to take another job and bide her time. Ms. MSN rewards free creative thinking. Want to score well in her class use double or triple hyphenated domains to show off your free thinking flair. Put your important words in bold and italics, she loves that. The real secret to getting a good grade on one of Ms. MSN’s test’s use CSS.
Mr. Jeeves
Mr. Jeeves is your hopelessly out of touch science teacher. While Mr. Jeeves is pretty smart he’s got a bit of an identity crisis. The students all laugh at him because he’s so behind the times. The other teachers don’t take him seriously because he’s always been afraid to stand up and make a name for himself, he’ll just get in line and follow the other teachers lead. Don’t count Mr. Jeeves out though he’s got some pretty powerful influential friends with a lot of financial backing, problem is they just don’t know what they want to do to back him for the long term.
Sphere It
February 15th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
[...] SE High - very amusing look at the personalities the engines have picked up. Ms. MSN rules! Too bad her results suck. [...]
February 17th, 2006 at 12:26 am
[...] Here is a link to a funny post over at Wolf-Howl have you ever pictured Google like this? [...]
March 16th, 2006 at 9:42 am
I am a high school teacher and was looking for information about SEO to teach my class today and came across this blog, I found it too be aweseome and loved the teacher analogy.