If Google Ran The World
December 20th, 2006 by Michael Gray in Advertising, Google, SEOIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Read my top posts or learn more about Michael Gray. Want more frequent updates follow me on Twitter. Thanks for visiting!
This is the way things work in the real world
this is the way things would work if Google ran the world
any questions …
Sphere It
December 20th, 2006 at 3:40 am
Michael, you aren’t being fair to Google. First of all you didn’t put a “no endorsement” tag next to her product endorsement. That clearly goes against Google policy on paid endorsements. To be within the rules, it should say Rachael Ray “I got paid $100,000 to endorse Wheat Thins so that all of you fat people would buy them!”
Second, you didn’t put a few pages worth of text attached to the box to explain the Wheat Thins are, how to eat them, various dietary information, the Wheat Thins privacy policy, and how to contact Nabisco. Obviously, that box is of low quality and should be placed behind all the good snacks that paid more and contain more frivolous information. Perhaps you could have stapled a printout of the Wikipedia entry on Wheat Thins to the box. I heard that consumers want lots of information before they buy products, so stapling high-quality Wikipedia printouts to the box provides that. Until you can attach that Wikipedia information to the box, it will have to remain behind all the other products which may or may not contain information about themselves.
Last, but certainly not least, in a Google world Nabisco would not be allowed to put a picture of Rachel Ray near the Wheat Thins logo or informational text. Consumers might get confused and might buy Wheat Thins thinking that Rachel Ray is inside the box of Wheat Thins. That kind of confusion creates a bad shopping experience for both Nabisco and its newfound customers.
December 20th, 2006 at 3:43 am
I heard a fairly reasonable tin-foil hat theory today that perhaps those washington lobbyists got to the ftc.
great post.
December 20th, 2006 at 4:36 am
What about http://seorch.info/img/nofollow.jpg ?
December 20th, 2006 at 5:08 am
Love the satire. Google’s paid linking policy is a pipe dream. It will never work, because even if they were successful in getting all the would-be web masters to put rel=”no” into all their sold links, people would innovate and mix the paid links into regular content making it undectable. Paid links mixed in with regular content is the best type of paid link anyways, it’s just too easy right now to put a list of advertising links on your site and not worry about integrating them into your content.
December 20th, 2006 at 11:26 am
let’s also not forget that you need some more keywords on that box like rachel ray loves wheat thins baked snacks that are really thin and made of wheat which are good to snack on anytime you are wanting to eat wheat and stay thin - sorry couldnt resist
December 20th, 2006 at 11:28 am
LMAO, I love you MG.
December 20th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
LOL at both Michael and Blackbeard.
Paid linking will never go anywhere, it’s just going to adapt.
December 20th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
My name is Rachel Ray and I do not follow this message.
December 20th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
Rachel Ray is a burly loudmouth trucker.
December 20th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Rebecca are you insane?!? she’s so got that MILF thing going for her …
December 20th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Definately MILF..
December 20th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
The problem I see is if we distribute 1,000,000 boxes, the Incredibly Smart duplicate box filter may cause only 1 box to be bought.
December 20th, 2006 at 7:53 pm
… [starts to wonder if its really so bad to be a loud mouther female trucker]…
December 20th, 2006 at 8:06 pm
YES!!! LOL!!! sploooge money!!!
January 1st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Ha! That’s great. Made me laugh out loud.