How Pubcon is Like Star Wars
November 8th, 2006 by Michael Gray in Random Thoughts, SEOIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Read my top posts or learn more about Michael Gray. Want more frequent updates follow me on Twitter. Thanks for visiting!
Star Wars is pretty much a classic in the mind every science fiction fan. However did you know that you are very likely to hear some Star Wars inspired quotes at Pubcon? You didn’t here I’ll show you…
Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing …
Matt Cutts: I find your lack of quality backlinks disturbing …
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Mos Eisley Spaceport, You won’t ever find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Corporate Advetising Executive: Pubcon Hotel Bar, You won’t ever find a more wretched hive of black hat SEO’s and spammers.
Luke Skywalker: But master Yoda is the dark side stronger?
Random Cuttlet But Matt Cutts is the dark side stronger?
Luke: I’ll never join you.
Danny Sullivan: I’ll never join you Incisive Media
Tion Medon: The tenth level… thousands of Battle Droids…
Brett Tabke: WebmasterWorld.com … thousands of Renegade Bots…
C-3PO: the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Senior WMW Member the possibility of successfully avoiding the sandbox with a new site is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned.
Jim Boykin: You must unlink to the bad neighborhoods that you have linked to.
Darth Vader: Your destiny lies with me Skywalker. Obi-Wan knew this to be true.
Matt Cutts: Your destiny lies with me Adam Lasnik. The forums knew this to be true.
C-3PO: If I may say so, sir, I noticed earlier the hyperdrive motivator has been damaged. It’s impossible to go to lightspeed.
Martinibuster: If I may say so forum newbie, I noticed earlier the google backlink command has been damaged. It’s impossible to go to use for finding new links.
Mace Windu: I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.
Google Employee: I sense a plot to destroy Google. The Dark Side of the SEO surrounds the Dave Naylor.
Admiral Piett: Bounty hunters. We don’t need their scum.
Corporate IT Manager: SEO Consultants. We don’t need their scum.
Dr. Evazan: I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Greg Boser: I have the death sentence on over 1200 web sites.
Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
SEO Newbie: A tremor in Google PageRank. The last time I felt it was in the presence of checking 12 google data centers.
Governor Tarkin: You don’t know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.
Matt Cutts: You don’t know how easy I found it, pushing the button to terminate Oilman’s spammy dental website.
Princess Leia: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you’re my only hope.
SEO Newcomer: Help me, AAron Wall your SEO elite retreat is my only hope.
Han Solo: She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve made a lot of special modifications myself.
Shoemoney: She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve made a lot of PPC profits from it.
Obi-Wan: Who’s the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?
Rand Fishkin: Who’s the more foolish: The linkbaiter, or the person who links to him?
Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Andy Hagans: I felt a great disturbance on Digg, as if millions of voters suddenly buried my story.
Darth Vader: Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don’t know the *power* of the Dark Side
Todd Friesen: Greg Boser once thought as you do. You don’t know the *power* of the Corporate World
Luke: Never. I’ll never turn to the Dark Side.
Doug Heil: Never. I’ll never turn to the Dark Side.
Chancellor Palpatine: And you, young Skywalker we shall watch your career with great interest.
SEO Oldtimer: And you, young Stuntdubl we shall watch your career with great interest.
Queen Amidala: It is clear to me now that the Republic no longer functions.
Aaron Pratt: It is clear to me now that the DMOZ Directory no longer functions.
Boss Nass: Yousa no tinken yousa greater den da Gungans? Mesa like dis. Maybe wesa… bein’ friends.
Anyone: finally understanding the i don’t get commisions from my wife thread at WMW
Princess Leia: I’d Just As Soon Kiss a Wookiee
Sugarrae: I’d just as soon kiss Bob Sagget
Obi-Wan: I have to admit that without the clones, it would have not been a victory.
Backlink Analyzer: I have to admit that without the text link ads, it would have not been able to rank
Padme: It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi… not being able to visit the places you like
Jenstar: It’s difficult having sworn your life to contextual advertisig … not being able to click on the adsense ads you like
Count Dooku: It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force… but by our skills with a lightsaber.
John Scott: It is obvious that this SEO contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the backlinks… but by our skills with creative tactics.
Librarian: If an item doesn’t appear in our records, it doesn’t exist.
GoogleBot: If an item doesn’t appear in our index, it doesn’t exist.
Sphere It
November 8th, 2006 at 6:56 am
Everyone makes: you’re == your mistakes. But not greywolf, he makes it backwards:
“AAron Wall you’re SEO elite retreat”
November 8th, 2006 at 10:07 am
LMAO - the question is, do I have to wear the gold bikini?
November 8th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
Help me Digg-Delicious-Reddit; you’re my only hope.
November 8th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
awesome gw
November 8th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Oh I misspelled Graywolf in my previous post, oh well. Anyways, excellent post. I didn’t know that mr. Cutts finds my backlinks disturbing
November 9th, 2006 at 3:20 am
funny & nicely done….
spit semi-cheap red wine all over my new monitor with this one….
Queen Amidala: It is clear to me now that the Republic no longer functions.
Aaron Pratt: It is clear to me now that the DMOZ Directory no longer functions.
see ya in vegas,
kyle
November 10th, 2006 at 8:45 am
Very nice and fun!
I’ll help you socialize this.
February 26th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Absolutely hilarious! I was laughing in tears the whole way through, just like in the old days… thanks!