19 Things You Won’t Hear at Pubcon
Posted on November 9th, 2006by Michael Gray in Random Thoughts, SEO
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As Pubcon draws closer and the my week of Pubcon related postings draws to close, I thought it might be fun to imagine some things that you’ll probably never hear at pubcon.
Dave Naylor: OK fine the Viagra pills really were mine …
Rand Fishkin: Link bait what’s that?
Greg Boser: … so I took the job they offered me at Google, I think it will be fun to work a corporate job 9 to 5 everyday, and I’m really looking forward to sharing all my secrets with the team.
Aaron Wall: Ever since I gave up the peanut butter it’s occurred to me I should stop being controversial and not discuss politics in public, go Navy!
Shoemoney: Forget ringtones, I’m making a killing buying clicks for 5 cents on …
Oilman: I’m planning a whole new segment for SEO Rockstars it’s called stalkers on the web …
Jeff Libert: Buying local domain names, nah there’s no money in that?
Bill Slawaski: Search Engines publish patents? Man who would bookmark those things in delicious?
Jeremy Zawodny: I think all the bru-haha has died down, I don’t think anyone will notice if I start selling links again.
Robert Scoble: Blogs … we don’t need no steenkin’ blogs…
Andy Hagans: Social Media what’s that?
Baked Jake: Arbitrage what’s that?
Danny Sullivan: A conference about search engine information … nah it would never work
Bruce Clay: SEO what’s that?
Nick W: When are you all going to realize bloggers invented the internet?
Sugarrae: I thinks it’s great that Britney is letting K-Fed handle SEO for her website seeing how he’s so smart and good looking, I’ve got an interview with him next week to talk about it. (dammit I wrote this before the divorce and I’m not changing it!)
Darren Rowse: Make money blogging, nah that could never happen.
Graywolf: I’ll never jump on another trend, no matter how much traffic it brings me …
Matt Cutts: … and that’s all you need to do to get out of the sandbox, now who’s buying me another round of goldschlager!
In case you are completely daft or someone’s legal team, this post is a parody, and has absolutely no basis in truth. It is a delusional raving by sad demented man who has completely abandoned personal hygiene and clothing and spends hours in front of a laptop computer on a daily basis checking his stats and traffic logs.
Sphere: Related Content
November 9th, 2006 at 6:51 am
Hehe, getting Matt drunk, every SEO’s dream
November 9th, 2006 at 9:47 am
How about:
Rand Fishkin: “Yellow shoes? Ewww, how tacky.”
or
Joe Morin: “I’m not really the partying type. I think I’ll turn in early tonight.”
November 9th, 2006 at 10:00 am
“…delusional raving by sad demented man who has completely abandoned personal hygiene and clothing and spends hours in front of a laptop computer on a daily basis checking his stats and traffic logs.”
I guess it will be easy to find you at the PubCon this year. Just look for a naked, smelly man with a laptop?
Fun post …
November 9th, 2006 at 10:26 am
Markus Frind - Don’t offer something for free when you can get sweet recurring income.
Dan Kramer - Only an idiot would attempt to cloak web pages. If you must cloak only do it for geolocation reasons or to make your site section 508 compliant.
Martinibuster - the best linking strategy is to build quality content and then simply wait for the natural incoming links to start pouring in.
Yahoo Rep - The Yahoo! Publisher Network Program is out of Beta !
November 9th, 2006 at 10:59 am
2 for 1 special on links! One day only!
November 9th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (and its about time on the divorce!)
November 9th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
Alternately, you also could have gone with:
Sugarrae: No, I think I’m done doing shots of goldschlager for tonight.
November 9th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Great. I like the one about Awall and the peanut butter.
Rae knows her tabloids/celeb mags… industry research.
November 11th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
You missed one.
Greg Jarboe: The press release is dead! (Will somebody please notify the next of kin?)
See you in Vegas!