Creating the Ultimate Digg Post
Posted on November 2nd, 2006by Michael Gray in Random Thoughts, Social Networks
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Recently I got to thinking, what would it take to create The Ultimate Digg Post?
Like any good story what you need first is a good villain. I did some research, peeked around,and while there were a few candidates it seems that the one person the diggnation seems to hate, almost unanimously it’s George W. Bush.
Now that we’ve got our villain it’s time to choose our hero. Now this was a little tougher, however I’m going to choose Keith Olbermann. Why well I think it’s important that the hero look like he’s a little more in control than the villain. Keith is in control and is one cool cucumber.
Next we need a way to get some conflict between our characters. Since we’re appealing to a big audience were going to call for a little mano a mano battle. That’s right Keith and GW sluggin’ it out hand to hand, WWE smackdown style in a winner takes all battle, that should keep the people interested.
I’ve got a little problem though, I’m never actually going to be able to pull it off. I mean the secret service wouldn’t actually let the president get pwned no matter how funny it would be on the 6 o’clock news. So I’m going to have to be a little bit more creative in my solution. I think I’ll do it in photoshop. In fact I’ll make it a photoshop tutorial diggers love those things I’ll call it How to Kick Someone’s Ass in Photoshop!
Oh and did I mention I’m going to be using my new New Apple Powerbook to do that photoshop tutorial. That’s right I got one of them 17″ wide screen models with a 2.33GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor. Yep a photoshop tutorial on pimped out powerbook, I’m sure some apple fanboy needs a cold shower right now, after reading that last sentence.
Hmm I’m going to need some pictures to start with though, well I’ll just fire up the every true digg users favorite browser of choice Firefox and I’ll use the best darn search engine around, that’s right showin’ some love for the boys in Mountain View CA using Google.
Wow we’re rapidly approaching nerd nirvana I better throw in an ubuntu reference while I have the chance. What the heck is ubuntu, I have no idea but those folks on Digg talk about it everyday so it must be da’ bomb! Oh yeah and did I mention I was doing some recon at the local Target, BestBuy, and Walmart with my camera phone posting pictures of the Wii displays as they were unloading them off the truck, check out my Flickr account later for the details.
So let’s recap I’m using Firefox and Google to create a photoshop tutorialon my Apple Powerbook that shows Keith Olbermann throwing George Bush a beating. Hmm maybe we need to lighten things up a bit, let’s turn it into a boxing match and we can have Stephen Colbert giving the play by play, yeah that works. Hey while we’re at it lets make Lego the official sponsor of the fight Diggers love Lego Models. Lastly Microsoft Sucks because they backed out of sponsoring, Fox News sucks because they wouldn’t provide coverage of the event, and lastly let’s make sure we have some pencil neck RIAA lawyer catching a beating from the fans, well just because we hate them …
Stay tuned for Part II!
Sphere: Related Content
November 2nd, 2006 at 1:59 am
I did a “define:ubuntu” search and thought “why would Digg users talk about Zulu social and spiritual philosophies”. Goes to show that you sometimes need to do wider searches.
November 2nd, 2006 at 2:09 am
you need to video capture your photoshop tutorial and first post to youTube. have cartman introduce it. you got the cartman clip as a torrent from piratebay.
November 2nd, 2006 at 3:52 am
Don’t forget about “Web 2.0″
I just used one of those pesky social bookmarking buttons below your blog post and Dugg it.
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:22 am
I’m sorry, I thought this one had been done before?
http://seoblackhat.com/2006/10/02/10-steps-to-guarantee-you-make-the-digg-front-page/
C’mon, we expect more from you Graywolf.
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:23 am
Ubuntu? Oh-ho-ho. They love me almost as much as Mozilla now, after I reported yesterday that poor user-experience of their email lists might be construed as spam.
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:55 am
you don’t have to approve this, but you do need to change powerbook to macbook pro!
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:29 am
I thought it was hilarious, good use of all the Digg cliches. I love digg and read it all the time for the liberal bias and would digg your article.
November 2nd, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Nice post…funny I just posted a digg article that got me beat up by a bunch of Nintendo freaks. My post subject was “Nintendo Wii…doomed. It’s over. Start Blowing on your NES Cartridges.”
That really got people mad at me. Not many diggs, but more than I’ve ever had.
Matt: We don’t discuss Black Hat tactics here…shhh! I’ve got your back, Mike! *knuckle cracks*
November 2nd, 2006 at 3:40 pm
Matt, what more? It can’t be more blackhat than this
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:15 pm
You mean MacBook Pro - I am typing this on a brand new 15″ MBP 2.33/160/matte C2D… Very nice
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Awesome
So true. I think I’ve clicked on every Digg story that had the words Apple, iPod, George Bush, and Ubuntu in the title.
I salute you, s’ah!
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:40 pm
PS: Michael, the story got burried just as my Digg FAQ was. Gotta’ love Digg users.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:01 am
Did you forget to slam Netscape, or is that in pt. 2? Regardless — love it!
November 3rd, 2006 at 5:57 am
writing a decent article don’t get many diggs, but badass article gets more diggs as i have noticed.
November 6th, 2006 at 11:42 am
hehehe…Looking forward to Part 2!
December 1st, 2006 at 11:54 pm
This was easily my most favorite blog post of the day, but I refuse to digg it because you forgot to mention AJAX.
March 25th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
AJAX, RUBY and other acronyms too.
Oh , and your article doesn’t mention a series of tubes …