The Paid Link Blog Meme
April 30th, 2007 by Michael Gray in Grayhat SEO, conferenceIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Read my top posts or learn more about Michael Gray. Want more frequent updates follow me on Twitter. Thanks for visiting!
Since it’s been over 48 hours since the last what are your 5 favorite toothpaste flavors meme I think I’m safe to start a new one. However this one’s going to be a bit different.
Instead of boring you with the mind numbingly inconsequential details of my everyday life I’m going to get straight to the point. I’m starting a blog meme and the five people I’m tagging have each paid me $100 to mention them
Matt Cutts
Peter Da Vanzo
Jeremy Zawodny
Andy Beal
Andy Hagans
Ok so what’s the deal did Matt really send me a check for $100 to link to him? Of course not don’t be daft … he used paypal! Ah and there’s the rub you can be reasonably sure he didn’t but if It was anyone other than Matt you wouldn’t be sure now would you. I could always employ a bit of Captain Jack Sparrow logic, lie often enough that no one believes you when you are telling the truth, and I can get away with a lot more. Did Peter send me a C-Note, nope but he totally gets the lunacy of the state of paid links nowdays. Jeremy didn’t send me Benjamin either, but if you talk about paid links you have to mention him it’s an incontrovertible law of God, man and blogging. Andy Beal I included him hoping he will run with this and give it a bit of legitimacy (wink wink nudge nudge). Andy Hagans he’s never send me anything as crass as cash an IPod shuffle is more his style.
Here’s the point though, what’s to keep me from starting a meme about something and soliciting cash from a few people to put them at the head of the list, and more importantly how is the all knowing great ad detecting wizard of OZ like Google algo ever going to know? Ok I can hear some people thinking sure you may be able to get a few links to your SEO or Marketing buddies but how can you make this work for a commercial site that’s not in SEO space? Well friends it’s time to externally contemplate on the parallelogram (leans back stretches out cracks knuckles and hunkers down)
Want to link to your new blog without people knowing it’s yours, start the 5 Best New Blogs You Aren’t Reading Meme
Egotastic! - The Entertainment Blog
Sweet Feet Boutiqueadvertising practitioner: big, rich and green
The Security Development Lifecycle
Remolacha.net
KillerStartups.com - The Next Big Thing on the Internet is here. You pick it.
Ok go ahead try and figure out which one is mine, or which one belongs to one of my friends, or which one sent me a new 80GB video IPod, or which ones I put in there just to throw you off the trail. You in the back you’d like a link to a commercial site, sure get ready for the My 5 Favorite Shopping Sites Meme
Amazon.com
CD Baby
Willaims Sonoma
Sur La Table
Endless.com
So how do you know which isn’t a client of mine, how do you know which one isn’t a client of one of my friends? OK Gray what if I need to get a link to a site no one is ever going believe I buy from? Well then welcome to the 5 Shopping Sites I Wish My Wife Would Buy From Meme:
Fredericks (NSFW)
Trashy (NSFW)
3 Wishes (NSFW)
Agent Provocateur (NSFW)
Pink PussyCat Boutique (Really NSFW)
Go ahead tell me which ones aren’t places I want her to shop and which one is from a guy I met at SES last week. Need some more ideas on how to obfuscate your paid linking intent in a meme how about the 5 Best Local Websites in Your Town Meme:
Brands Cycle
Causeway Deli
DaVincci Tattoo
Mr Vac & Mrs Sew
Ace Tool Online
Did the guy in the bike shop hook me up on a repair, does Dennis give me free sandwiches when no one is looking, was I able to barter a deal with Ace Tools for a new power washer in exchange for a link? So I proved I can come up with a creative way to link to anything if I wanted to, but big deal what’s one link going to do? How about instead of five links I cut it down to two or three, and on top of that I ask everyone I tag to carry the links forward. I contact some of my friends and work out a deal to tag them first. This way they can add thier clients links and lend an air of legitimacy to the project. Do you want to participate in the meme that only one person is doing no way, but you sure do want to pariticpate in the one everyone else is, don’t you?
What’s the takeaway here, never trust a meme especially one that I participate in? Hardly. The real point here is don’t buy into the FUD that search engines propogate to serve their own self intrests. Don’t beleive them when they get all spooky and CIA on you with lines like “google knows much”, because they don’t, and if they did they wouldn’t need to say things like that to scare you into aquesing to their will. Don’t let them tell you how to run your business or your website in a way that doesn’t make sense to you and help you stay profitable. Rememebr the more things they keep discounting the more try to push substitue solutions like “personalized search is better for you” down your throat. If it was so much better they wouldn’t have had to force everyone to use it opt them in now would they?
Sphere It
April 30th, 2007 at 5:39 am
First!
Seriously though, this paid link bullshit is getting old. Just tell me who’s buying cuz I’m selling.
April 30th, 2007 at 6:21 am
Pure genius, I loved the ‘5 Shopping Sites I Wish My Wife Would Buy From Meme’ that kept me laughing for a while
April 30th, 2007 at 6:55 am
>If it was so much better they wouldn’t have had to force everyone to use it opt them in now would they?
So it is logical for you that the worst option is the default one?
April 30th, 2007 at 8:25 am
>So it is logical for you that the worst option is the default one?
I tend not to listen to people who don’t have the courage to use their own email to make comments and instead use a [at] aol.com
April 30th, 2007 at 9:23 am
Thanks for the chuckle on a Monday morning! But seriously, you said I’d be BEFORE Matt Cutts, if I gave you $100!!!
April 30th, 2007 at 10:06 am
his came direct I had to wait for yours to clear
April 30th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Let’s say for the sake of argument that the new magic algorithm does pick this post up as paid links. So now they do the only thing they can do, which is take away wolf-howls ability to pass PageRank. I’d bet you still get the power washer from Ace Tools, free sandwiches, or can do a review. The link buyers won’t know that your not passing PR, it’s a non-penalty…and as you pointed out, very difficult to administer.
April 30th, 2007 at 11:50 am
I’m sending a stinky pet ferret to your door today, Michael.
What kind of link love will that get me?
April 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Brilliant post! We have seen so many times in the past how engines, especially Google, try to use the scare-tactic to change the way webmasters do stuff. In most such previous cases it has turned out that Google was all talk and no action - and no technology to back up the talk. I mean, what ever happend to that great anti cloaking devise they claimed for years they have?
April 30th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
This is fantastic. Thanks for the perspective. I couldn’t sum it up better than what my co-worker said though (emphasis mine):
JasonMurphy (10:28 AM) :
always love the “search engine conspiracy” memes
Jake (10:29 AM) :
oh yeah, gotta always remind yourself that people are making money online from selling thin air
JasonMurphy (10:30 AM) :
who’d that be? :shifty eyes:
Jake (10:31 AM) :
lol, isn’t that the business model that google subscribes to - how to sell something that doesn’t exist, back to yourself
JasonMurphy (10:32 AM) :
exactly.
April 30th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Maybe we should all put a Matt Cutts link right below the “Your Link Here” text link ads stuff…
April 30th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Classic
In fact, superb
April 30th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Andy Beal - you’re going to need some serious cash to appear above Matt Cutts on Michael’s “integrated editorial ad space” deal.
Mine wasn’t near serious enough….
May 1st, 2007 at 1:00 pm
The first thing that came to my mind when the whole buzz about paid links penalty started was “how the hell they gonna distinguish???” It is soooo easy to hind the paid links and i 100% agree with the post. Another thing -don let the search engines control your business.
P.S. that’s funny that at the end of the post there is a banner from the text link ads
May 1st, 2007 at 3:56 pm
This thing with paid links is very funny. I laugh each time I read everyones take on it.
Now for the real issue???
HOW MUCH would take to my name on top of these powerhouse guys????
Cheers
May 1st, 2007 at 11:51 pm
Classic. The best read I have had all day.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:42 am
Wow, you really got fired up on this one!
Great post, I definitely feel that the jedi mind tricks and power of suggestion attempts are really just mis-direction.
As far as marketers should worry about, it all boils down to doing what’s best for your visitors and everything else follows naturally.
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:44 am
Along the lines of your paid-link-meme, I decided to start paying people to let me link to them.
It’s quite the opposite of Google’s paid link witch hunt, so I can’t be called out in any spam reports.
(follow comment link to see example)
May 7th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
This is a capitalist economy folks, why is it the only place we have a problem with paying for promotion is search?
I have $100, stop by and drop me a line
May 20th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
What about mom and pop shops who can’t afford paid links? That’s the question no one is asking.
May 21st, 2007 at 8:26 am
“What about mom and pop shops who can’t afford paid links?”
But see, SEOs are a mouthpiece of companies who can.
June 3rd, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Me likey your linky.